i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
