i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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