ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
