Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
