Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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