I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
