Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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