the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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