There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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