I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
