I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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