i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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