tell your sister to shave her snatch
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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