You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Randomize
