I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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