I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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