What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
