she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
