Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
No I am not eating basil off your cock
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
