You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
