yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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