am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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