the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
