What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize