You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Randomize
