dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
