Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
