He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
