is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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