I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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