My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
