do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize