Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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