Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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