I love black thongs
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
