I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
