he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize