what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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