So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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