K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
