so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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