Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
