If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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