dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize