whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
