he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
