Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
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It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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