ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
