she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
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They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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