i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize