i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize