I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
