Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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