pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize