Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize