from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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