Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
