Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
