I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
