And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
