you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
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She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
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He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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