so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Randomize
