All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
