these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
