He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
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Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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