he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
