you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
